vibrant blues and reds and greens
of once brightly painted dreams
are blurring, smudging at the edges
of tears and faded memories
i keep clinging desperately
this is what you demand of me
but eternal sleep's promised comfort
keeps pick, pick, picking at my seams
a shoebox full of stolen shells
haunts the air with sea spray smells
i drop my tears within their folds
like wishes down the wishing well
snapshots of a life long passed
i bring them out, relive the past
red wine swirled with sorrow's brine
sip it slowly and make it last
i keep clinging desperately
this is what you demand of me
but eternal sleep's promised comfort
keeps pick, pick, picking at my seams
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
What sorrow and hopelessness this conveys. Strong stuff!
ReplyDeletea shoebox full of stolen shells
ReplyDeletehaunts the air with sea spray smells
this was an amazing couple of lines..but the whole poem was great..i felt your sadness...thanks for sharing with One shot..cheers Pete
oo...we were playing along similar lines with our oneshots...loved the imagery and desire to cling...the lines about the shells were a highlight...nicely played.
ReplyDeleteI love your opening line, vibrant blues and reds and greens
ReplyDeleteof once brightly painted dreams
are blurring,
such lament in your poem. Thanks for sharing and nice to meet u here.
"a shoebox full of stolen shells
ReplyDeletehaunts the air with sea spray smells
i drop my tears within their folds
like wishes down the wishing well"
Enjoyed your poem, especially those lines. cheers
Such a sad reflection of someone lingering in a lost relationship. I suspect many of us have been there. I know I have. These could have been my words once upon a time: "red wine swirled with sorrow's brine."
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my place, and for your kind comments.
Haunting and sad. I love dark poetry from the depths of our soul. I find mine comes in the middle of the night when sleep plays awakening games.
ReplyDeleteNice alliteration, rhythm, and rhyme. I particularly like the line "a shoebook full of stolen shells/ haunts the air with sea spray smells"; it's thought-provoking and so evocative. Also very nice: "red wine swirled with sorrow's brine /sip it slowly". You have a good sense of how words sound. It's easily to "hear" this poem.
ReplyDeleteeternal sleep...so a lost loved one? And the pain of bringing out those shells, these reads of grief still fresh. So sad and so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteYes, it sounds like you need to let it go. Sometimes so hard to do. I have had many a glass of sorrow's brine myself. Lovely read
ReplyDeleteAh... how we cling to memories, and keep clinging to them inspite of what they do to us!
ReplyDeleteWe know it's all in vain..and yet...
So beautifully written.. I could feel the pain in your verses...
A very fine read it was!!! I only hope it was fiction..
beautifully written! the emotions are real, the language suits-- not over-written or too aware of its form. nicely done!
ReplyDeletehttp://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
Sip it slowly... beautiful. Great write. Bisous, Love and Light, Sender
ReplyDeleteI can feel the flow of this. I love the imagery.
ReplyDeleteA million thanks and more to you all for your comments and kindness. One Shot has been such an amazing catharsis for me. Hopefully I can work my way through the rest of everyone's writing tonight and tomorrow. So much talent is among us! Merry Sunday to you all.
ReplyDelete